Apologizing. A situation that can be difficult for everyone at any given time. But yet, we all like to receive an apology when we get hurt. So, why is it so hard for us to do when we have hurt others? Well, I found an article on NBC's today.com which lists reasons why apologizing can be hard. Although each circumstance is different, I believe these few items do a good job of covering all spectrums.
- fear of rejection
- being given a cold shoulder
- some feel is a sign of weakness
- feeling vulnerable
- admitting incompetence
- prefer to stay in denial
- pride or ego getting in the way
- lack of empathy
- don't want to face own flaws
Apologizing does not mean you are weak, does not mean you are incompetent, and does not mean you are wrong. It actually means that you are able to become the bigger person. To me, being the bigger person symbolizes strength and maturity. It takes a strong person to be vulnerable.
Relationships are worth setting pride aside for 5 seconds to say just 3 simple words, "I am sorry."
Questions of the Day:
1) From the list, which is the reason that causes you to avoid apologizing?
2) What helps you to be able to say you are sorry?
3) Is there someone who is in need of an apology from you?
❤ Nichole ❤
I love love love this! It is so true. I just recently watched a vlogbrothers video about this topic. As I have gotten older, I realize more now that apologizing is not about being wrong, as you said. It is about making a promise to learn. :)
ReplyDeleteI like how you said it's making a promise to learn. That's an awesome way to look at it. An apology doesn't mean you'll be perfect the next time around either..it just means that your aware of what you did and will work at it! It's definitely about learning.
DeleteAs I've gotten older, I've found that it's easier for me to apologize. I often find myself being the one to apologize for mistakes at work (even when it wasn't something I did) or apologizing to my husband after a fight (even when I know I was really, really right!) I mostly just want to get rid of the tension!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the tension. I'm one who tends to like to be right when I'm right so it's something I've worked on a lot! Because like you said being right isn't worth the tension that going without saying I'm sorry creates even if you are right.
DeleteTrying to imagine myself in the other's situation has been helping me find it easier to apologize. If I was them would I be hurt/ feel insulted? Would I expect an apology or would it make me feel better? If yes I'd apologize. Though for me constantly trying to please people I actually apologized a little too often so I'm working on finding my happy medium now. (:
ReplyDeleteI like that about putting yourself in their shoes. That's such a good idea.. Looking from a different perspective can totally open the mind up. I went through a bout after a bad relationship where I apologized a ton in my next because I felt it was necessary because it's how I was conditioned. And it would be for everything! Not even just arguments. It's certainly important to find that happy medium and you will! Just keep working on it!
DeleteI actually have no problem with apologizing. This might have been different when I was younger, but the older I get, the more I realize that it's stupid to let crap drag on for no reason other than a false sense of pride. I don't like drama and I don't like conflict, so I try to keep those to a minimum in my life. If I screw up (which I do), I say sorry and move on. Life is too short for that nonsense.
ReplyDeleteI am with you on the not liking drama in my life. I can't stand it. Awesome for you though!! It's something I've gotten a ton better at but still struggle with at times in the end I always end up doing so (sometimes it just takes a bit of redaction and thinking) because I care more about the people then the argument. Totally agree with your outlook and hope to someday soon be able to handle like you!
DeleteThis is so true! I absolutely hate any sort or confrontation, so I guess I fear being given the cold shoulder most - but mostly I'll apologize straight away and start a fresh. If I have an argument with my family I'll usually just leave a little sorry note attatched to some chocolate haha :)
ReplyDeleteThat's such a cute way!! I'm sure they don't mind the little treat either. And yea getting a cold shoulder is definietly scary especially when your being sincere..the fear it won't fix it or something like that. But all you can know is that you meant it and tried! That's all you can do. Try.
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