Friday, July 4, 2014

Guest Post:: Housewife Glamour {Social Media Negativity}



Hello Upbeat Uplifts readers! My name is Heather and I blog over at Housewife Glamour.

I started blogging in 2010 as a way to document my wedding planning, and that sparked an unexpected, yet instant love for sharing the daily musings and healthy living inspirations on the site I run today.

On Housewife Glamour, I share healthy recipes, workouts, beauty how-to's, and dabble into fashion every now and then. I'd love it if you stopped by sometime!

I've known Nichole for just about a year now, but I feel like it's been so much longer!

birthday celebration with nichole

We met dancing together for the Pistons, and have been through many highs and also many lows together. Today she asked me to discuss how to deal with some of those lows, so here we go!

Negativity.

If you're on social media -- and especially if you are a blogger -- you're eventually going to come across it. 

Whether it's on your own page or you stumble upon it on someone else's, the crazy online world we call the Internet can be a very beautiful, yet haunting experience. 

Just like life, blogging can have it's good - I love what I do and I'm in love with this magical world of connecting through social media - and our bad - what the heck just happened, and why am I still putting my heart and soul into this - days. 

It's bound to happen to all of us at one point or another, and that's completely normal. But, when you least expect it, you'll receive a comment or email that will brighten your day and remind you why you care so much. 

You'll snap out of the blues and why you started sharing your life and words with others will become clear again: to inspire, and most likely to make people smile. 

It will feel good, and you'll be on your game until the next negative comment comes around.

So how do we move past the bad and focus on the good?

Dealing with Negativity on Social Media

Social media is a great tool for both businesses and friendships, but it can also make us judge without even realizing it. We can easily get caught up in The Comparison Game and experience emotions about ourselves solely based on what others are up to. 

It can be vicious, and hurt even more when others realize they have similar thoughts and use your page as a platform to discuss them. 

While I'm not claiming to be an expert on the subject, I have prepared a handful of tips that can help us rise above the negativity that can so easily consume... well... all of us.

• Take negative comments with a grain of salt.

Comments are comments. That's it. In the real world, what do comments equal? Nothing.

They literally have no power over our lives, unless we let them get into our heads and affect us.

Whenever you see something you don't like or appreciate, remember to take a comment for what it is. An opinion... that's it.

• Negativity on social media is just like negativity in real life.

Remember those silly little rumors people in high school made up about so-and-so just to get a rise out of their classmates? That can easily happen on social media pages as well, but you have to decipher what's important to stress over and what isn't worth your time.

Majority of the time, negative people aren't worth your time.

Move right past 'em and spend your time focusing on those who actually take the time to know you!

• Think about what's bothering you. Is it what somebody said, or how they said it?

There's something to be said about taking and accepting feedback.

When it's written in an off-putting way, however, you can lose the point of the comment all together and only remember that word or phrase that made you upset. Just like the comment is just a comment point mentioned above, a word is just a word.

Is a word really worth the time you're spending dwelling on it?

stop-worrying-and-start-living-quote

Probably not. Move on!

• Keep in mind that some people comment to offer constructive criticism. But... there's also a line between constructive and rude.

Most feedback comes from an outsider's wish to provide constructive criticism. Most.

In some cases, people want to voice their opinion to help you see something from a reader or follower's point of view. They get the courage to say something and hope you'll hear them.

If they're just being straight up rude, that's a line you don't even need to jump close to. Again, is this really worth your time and energy to stress over? Most likely, your answer will - again - be no.

• Don't get defensive. If you aren't sure how to respond to a negative comment, take as much time as you need before you address it properly.

Just like the "think before you speak" rule, it isn't a bad thing to have a filter online.

Your first instinct might be to speak up and address someone who is being rude in an unflattering way. In the long run, that isn't going to do anything but make you look silly and egg them on even more.

If you aren't quite sure how to respond to something, ask a friend and have them help you come up with an appropriate response.

• Your blog and social media pages are your spaces. You have the right to ignore, delete, or respond to anything.

The choice of what to do with a negative comment is completely up to you.

Just remember that you chose to put yourself out there, and there are all types of followers under the reader umbrella. Not everyone is going to respond the same way, and in turn, negative comments might surface.

With the good, often comes the bad, and how you address it can make you an even better blogger and inspiration to follow.

Take a deep breath, reflect on what was said, and address it with a light heart and maybe even a sense of humor.

• Focus on the positive!

This is why I love coming to Nichole's blog so much. She's always positive! 

Everyone has their differences and struggles, but there's a way to go about and discuss them. Complaining won't get you very far, but taking a look at what you've learned throughout the hardships will.


Motivational quote

Whenever you need to block out the bad, think of the good. Focus on those appreciative emails or positive notes of feedback and use them as inspiration to keep moving.

You'll only get as far as you let yourself go. Make sure to keep looking forward, and that what's in front of you is bright! 

*** Thanks again, Nichole, for allowing me to crash the party here today. It was fun for me to post outside of my healthy living bubble, and I hope to see some of you pop in (and link up!) with what keeps you smiling over at Friday Favorites every once in a while. 

Have a great day! xo 

Connect with Heather // Bloglovin' :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Instagram :: Pinterest

6 comments:

  1. Very cool and important post! I think that your right with people offering constructive criticism and alot of people have different limits to what the consider rude haha. Just gotta do as you say and take it with a pinch of salt because when the nice comments come in they usually out weigh the bad :)
    x

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    1. Exactly. It's hard to forget the bad, but just remember to keep the good at the front of your mind. Those are the readers and you connect with anyways!

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  2. Hello Heather! :) what a fantastic post, really enjoyed it! :) unfortunately negativity is part of life but you can either go with that or change negativity into positivity...i vote positivity every time! Xxxx

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    1. Thanks Anna! It can be tricky, but staying positive can completely change your life, as well as your outlook on life. Let the negatively stay only near negative people and move on! ;)

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  3. This is a great post- it's so important to focus on the positive! I love that you mentioned that each person's blog is their own space! Thanks for sharing this post!

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    1. Thanks Carly! And it really is. Bloggers usually document their lives for ourselves, or to inspire people. You just have to take the bad with the good keep on keepin' on!

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